Chase that white Rabbit.

Contrary to popular belief, there is a white rabbit at the end of that hole. Do you wanna know why? It’s because it is the white rabbit’s hole, you see it, it’s the one just to the left of that yellow oaker nut tree. Ah yes the illusive white rabbit, fabled for its white rabbitiness. Known across the land for its soft white pelt, cute fuzzy feet and super sharp teeth. Yes it is those sharp pointy teeth that have ended the adventure for many a wondering knight, I guess they were lost, oh rest their souls, may the almighty bunny fiend have mercy upon their souls. It was the mighty bunny fiend and his thirteen apostles of the apocalypse that set up the national bunny foundation (NBF), and it is through this organization that they created and populated many souvenir nations, known as bunny parks. They did this in such a cunning way that people visit these bunny parks, for children’s birthday parties, Sunday picnics, pagan rituals and other miscellaneous amateur warmongering activities. Bunny parks have all been fitted with human bunnification radar antennae’s which bunnify all humans that enter. That is why people feel compelled to take carrots and other bunny treats to said parks. Mentioning the NBF and not mentioning their ancient arch enemies is fairly dum dum. So for those who don’t already know. Think of this where else do people take their young to eat too many sweets and fling diaper waste around? No, it’s not the Vatican. It’s Micky Dee’s, aka Mac Donald’s, dreadful place more insidious than bunny parks and about as inviting as a government hospital emergency room. It is the bright garish colours, free plastic choke toys and the psychotic clown, that entice our smaller brained pint sized little ones. But little do they know that, their happy meals are actually made from the remnants of those who died on the battle fields of the ongoing war between MD and NBF. It is a terrible war, with far more casualties on the bunny side, due to their small size and inability to operate small arms, or any other arms at all. Well the saying breed like rabbits has at least kept them from extinction. Don’t the golden arches resemble bunny ears? Next time some puerile fetish drives you to Micky Dee’s, remember, you are probably eating the white rabbit, at least it saved you the chase.

Solvents: For external use only.

Sorry for being so lazy as of late, but it has been a week filled with adventure, or I’d like to pretend so. On Wednesday, or some other day that starts with a “w”, we went on an alien hunting expedition. As usual we started at Benkei, no aliens were immediately apparent. So, in an MSG trance I crossed the street and followed by my followers (they like following me around, I buy them beer and through peanuts at them to keep them happy.) We went to a very secret and fashionable society, so fashionable that you have to change every 2 hours to avoid getting evicted, lets call it the fashion society. MSG, nicotine and mercury (found in large blue finned tuna, if you didn’t know) fuelled my trance. Enter the shaman, he will see you now. Very good. “You have a strong name, like a bully. Would you like, a Tequila?”, “Yes……… I would, like a Tequila... Will it clear my vision and allow me to see into the future?”, “No, it will blur your vision and cause you to walk into things.” “Ah, I see, then I would like a double for myself and my companions, and if by chance you have any salted peanuts? I’d like a bag of those too.” “Very well.” “ Here are your tequilas.” “I see they are a delightful gold colour.” “You are very observant, eyes of eagle. This should help that.” “Yes, it should.” And it did, vision blurred, conversation conversed, styles changed and many beverages of varying potency consumed. “Ah, blub de blub. Do you remember that gold en tequila shaman?” “Actually its Henry. And yes, it was gold tequila.” “Um, yes, do you have the other, other golden tequila?” “Reposado?” “Maybe? What’s the difference?” “It has been aged for a year and is smoother.” “Oh does the aging mellow it out?” “No they just add less turpentine.” “Okay, its done then give us a six pack of those, Shaman you the man!” MSG, nicotine, mercury, lead by products and tequila, the trance has begun resembling a stupor, but I have a strong name! like a bully. Funny I have never heard of any bad guys named Attila Adolf Ghengis Sadam Eugene the Hun. Well maybe I’m the first, I should conquer a small country or something. And the peanuts? You may ask. Maybe I’ll conquer a peanut factory. Sounds pretty good.

Happy human rights day!

Yo yo yo! Happy human rights day, from the rainbow nation, the country with the most public holidays of any country in the world, woot. Yip that is right, humans have their own special day here in RSA, it is a day where we celebrate our human rights, that is the right not to have your ass turned inside out buy nasty exploding incendiary devices, don’t you love not being evaporated, damn what a great day! For all of those who do not know, you are probably a human if you are reading this article, or at least I hope so, I don't know how far they have come in their monkey training trials - but it sounds promising, unless of course you do not want to be a monkeys slave, damn violent intelligent monkeys. "No, no put that cathode ray tube down, bad monkey.", "Eek eek ook, grumble.. (unintelligible).. ook!", "No! You wouldn't, you're crazy! I will not let you destroy another pc of mine you filthy monkey bastard! I said....." CRACK!!!!! "EEEK OOOKKK GRRR! GRREEEOOWLL!". ..... .. . . . . .....


Enough about humans and their ultimate demise. Apparently vampires and lichen have been having a war since, well a long, long time ago. Basically the story goes; /Little red riding vampire was walking through the woods to old grandma vampires house when a tree covered in lichen fell over and crushed little red's little head. None of the other vampires were very happy with this so they declared war on all the lichen of the world. The battle has been hard fought with casualties on both sides, the world is no longer covered in forest, due to the vampire mass lichen eradication campaigns - this has made it difficult for the vampires as now, that sun light reaches the ground they can only come out at night. Lichen have also been forced to move to the south side of the trees on which they grow on, this is to avoid detection by the vampires. Below are some pictures of this historical fact filled story.



Some uneducated people have a different story involving lycan and not lichen; this is an historical inaccuracy. Lycan are merely the offspring of lichen and vampires - don’t ask me how they mated, I don't think you want to know either. Lycan are often called werewolves. So, until next time. BOO! Ha, ha, ha, rolf, lolicon WTF! GAYLORD GEEK MOFO.

Fun with numbers.... now with actual numbers

Evening.. Well sorry about my last post, I promised fun with numbers. I don't think I delivered, maybe I should work for the local government. Okay I'm gonna teach you a few cool tricks. Well if you haven't noticed there seem to be a few computer geeks how spend way too much time on their pc's, you can often spot them by the way they type things such as leeet and cheesee poof. Ah screw it I'm tired here are some silly links (number related of course.) If you find these useful, then good, if not then good. Lets get it clear I do not care. Thank you.

I'm having trouble posting links, so you need to highlight the line, drop it in a new browser tab/window address bar. Mkay

Check out stuff about your birthday at.
http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

Work out how pregnant you are here.
http://www.borntolove.com/pregnancycalculate.html
By the way I do not seem to be very pregnant, strange Lazy says I must at least be in my 5th trimester.

And goole now has a calculator. Find it here.
http://www.google.com/help/features.html#calculator
People have tried it out and it sounds pretty useful, I think.

And for all of you who still have calculators.
http://terhune.net/jokes/calculat.txt.html
They didn't give any of the answers, I guess they didn't want to ruin the punch lines, or something. Ps do not try them on your pc, or not in the office at least, people start staring when you try turn your screen upside down. Just a warning.

When searching for "numbers gone wild", I got some rather questionable content, who knew that going wild was such popular amatuer video thinga ma bob.
http://www.scrapaddict.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19128&cat=877&page=1
Is considerably less risque than the other result. Only 50c.

Intersting little fact: ON the first link I got the number 3 on both the date and the name sections. Can't quite remember if they meant the same thing or something. I just thought that it might be important.. nudge, nudge, wink, wink. There might be a test at the end of this class.

On second thought I've decided that numbers serve their purpose, they only entertain those who understand them, and I do not think I will be putting much time asid eto develop any long term relationships with any numbers, except for maybe 3.

Fun with numbers

Yay, yay, hip, hip hooray. Its time for fun with numbers. Wow holy crapola numbers can be fun. Either that or I am really, really, really bored.. You make up your minds..... Ping toast is ready, wooot... numbers numbers, did someone mention toast? Holy crap my connection is slooooowwwwww today. Okay so this will be a little bit oddly paced, everything else is guaranteed to be completely normal. Yay, Yay. Oog. So to make up for the odd pacing you are going to have to vary the speed at which you read, that is when it is dull and boring i.e. character development scenes, you should read slowly, and when it is exciting i.e. when shit is about to blow up or there is a terrorist attack on some unsuspecting zucchinis you should speed up. Okay do you have that? Try not to let the pacing follow you into the real world though like when shit blows up, if you speak to quickly you may detract from the whole excitement of the event for those around you. Oh and try not to slow down when speaking to your boss, it just means that it will take longer and thus worsen any negative effects from such encounters.

Yay, yay, hip, hip hooray. Its time for fun with numbers. Wow holy crapola numbers can be fun. Either that or I am really, really, really bored.. You make up your minds..... Ping toast is ready, wooot... numbers numbers, did someone mention toast? Holy crap my connection is slooooowwwwww today. Okay so this will be a little bit oddly paced, everything else is guaranteed to be completely normal. Yay, Yay. Oog. So to make up for the odd pacing you are going to have to vary the speed at which you read, that is when it is dull and boring i.e. character development scenes, you should read slowly, and when it is exciting i.e. when shit is about to blow up or there is a terrorist attack on some unsuspecting zucchinis you should speed up. Okay do you have that? Try not to let the pacing follow you into the real world though like when shit blows up, if you speak to quickly you may detract from the whole excitement of the event for those around you. Oh and try not to slow down when speaking to your boss, it just means that it will take longer and thus worsen any negative effects from such encounters.

Oh and back to numbers, gravy and numbers is not recommended for dinner, but whatever different strokes for different paintbrushes. According to http://www.newdream.net/~sage/old/numbers/ "Yep, that's right! Numbers are fun! Numbers are your friends." Holy FAK so there you have it, that’s my proof, it is alright to talk to you phone, because those little squiggly things on the keys, just above the letters, are in fact, you guessed it NUMBERS and they are your friends. By the way there are ten numbers on your phone; the second larger o is actually a zero like such 0, again holy crapola. Apparently zero (0) is pretty important, thus allowing us to count to well to zero, you can't go anywhere unless you can count to zero, if that makes sense. Like when you put petrol in your car, whilst it is moving it is burning petrol, thus counting you petrol backwards from R100 down to R0, which is when you have to start walking, like our cave man ancestors. I always thought that zero was well something edible like an orange or a stick. Hey check this picture I stole from…. What the fak... Oh you lazy biznatch, check it at (http://www.orthohelp.com/number.htm), really enlightening and stuff. Well I’m pretty screwed, I can’t upload any pictures or other fancy stuffs ( I hope at least the text uploads). Oh well isn’t that freaken depressing. My internet has been somethinged, no anime downloads, no uploading pretty pictures. Shit! Now I’ve lost my train of thought beans, they were on their way to Tokyo but I think they were hi jacked somewhere in north Africa, dam north Africans.

Be very very quiet.....

Okay lets get this over with before my headache wakes up. I've had a sickly, obtuse and rather otherwise week. If you read my last post you will no doubt be aware of my battles with the viral scourge of the little green booglies. Headaches seem to be the only constant thing as of late, well headaches, and a general lack of enthusiasm. It’s hard being a nihilist when everyone around you is so positive. “How are you?”, “Crap and you?”, “Oh I’m great, top of the world, best I’ve been all week…..”, “Shut up or I’ll stab you in the face, you freaken hippy.” Why is everyone always soo happy, to stupid to realize and too dum to care. Oh ignorance is bliss. But maybe threatening to stab people in the face gives off negative vibes, I don’t know why everyone takes offense when I offer them some grievous bodily harm when they approach me, its not my fault I’d rather insult you than talk about your day, my day sucked I had a head ache, had a smoke, downloaded some ROMs, browsed the net, ate some stuff, ate some meds, farted, listened to music, shouted at the noisy mofos at work, threatened their families and then I had another smoke. Dam my blood pressure all of these annoying little butt turnips are pissing me off…….. “Doctor check his pulse…”, “Get him an lsd, for his ADD, and get me some coffee and a scone”,…. “What do you mean he’s a cyborg? Have you been watching too much anime again?”, “Cyborg? You stupid mofo, you are just talking to yourself again”, “Huh? What? I’m not a cyborg, you suck.” SMACK. “Now shut the hell up!”


Um okay.

Getting onto matters of health. During my clinical trails I have discovered a rather extraordinary hangover prevention thinga ma bob. As with stds and unwanted pregnancies the best cure according to nuns and lame asses is abstinence, which is why neither have very many friends. But prevention is always better than cure. All you need to do is eat some asparagus before you go to bed. “Did he say asparagus?”, “Why yes I think he did”, “Holy crapola”. Yes asparagus is a diuretic, and I have absolutely no idea how it that helps hangovers, as one of the main causes of hangovers is, well alcohol, which is bum bum bummmmm, also a diuretic. Hmmm. On inspection of the wikipedia, it is noted that some of the more unpleasant side effects of hangovers, are caused by the metabolism of alcohol in the liver (pay attention this is educational), and asparagus causes your pee to smell funny, because it cleans?..... Yes that’s it; it cleans your squishy internal organs. (I tried formulating something a bit more substantial, but it’s still early and I’m lazy, so sue me.) By the way I added this to wikipedia “* Eating some canned asparagus before going to bed will significantly reduce the negative symptoms the following day, this is probably due to the diuretic affects of the asparagus.”, so if you don’t believe me, I’ll just send you to wikipedia…. Proof, absolutely, undeniably true. By the way did I tell you that I invented the moon and walked on the internet. Dam my new cyborg powers kick ass. KOO should really consider this information in their next marketing campaign. “Wanna get rat faced tonight, but you have to perform heart surgery tomorrow morning? You can! All you need is KOO can asparagus. It will clean all of your squishy internal organs, give you laser vision and other cool cyborg powers. Fo shizzel” I can see it now. With my laser vision of course.

I'm sick....

For those of you who have trouble reading I will explain the heading to you. I have been rather unfortunate, sleeping with one's feet in a bucket of ice water is probably not a smart idea considering the odd weather we have been having. Well some rather unfriendly bacteria have decided to make my head their new base of operations, afterall it is a head cold. I have chosen to interperate this situation in the following way: Some bacteria scouts were busy looking for a new HQ, too scared to use birds as any budgie with a cough gets nuked, they decided to move up along the food chain. "Hell why not this tall humanoid looking creature thingy mabob", " For real that looks prime." They took measurements, got quotes and decided to go with my nasal tract, afterall it has the ideal length, tempurature and moistness. They felt that they chose well, they chose me, why me you little bastards. Plans. War Plans. Its war, head war 3, there will be casualties, hopefully more on their side than on ours. Phase one, invade host..... Completed.. Phase two, infect as many cells as possible.... in progress.. Pahase three, make host sneeze/cogh on everyone around..... in progress. They will take over, they will succeed, they will inherit the earth.... Blah dee blah dee blah blah... Overcompensate with medication, meds for runny nose, meds for fever, meds for head ache, meds for the meds that I forgot to take, meds for the meds that I will take, meds for meds sake........ and more meds.... these mofo's are going down, spell check can bearly handle my spelling anymore........ meds make the wall go bumbly, fumbly... vision blurry, sounds taste funny..... damn bacteria you be going downnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,............../

Uncapped at last, well for now at least.

No posts in several days due to the fact that SA's only fixed line provider, Telkom, enjoys enforcing a 3gig cap on its ADSL subscribers. 3gigs is crazy, whilst chatting to mit82 in the UK, "screw this crazy 3gig cap", "3gigs isn't that bad, seriously how much do you need a day?", "you crazy British fool, that’s 3gig a month not a day, I freaken wish!", "oh, that does suck." During the past few days I have been forced to find other means to fill those moments of brief consciousness between naps, I bought magazines, rented DVDs, set high scores on my phone and the ultimate sacrilege, I watched TV - F-ck free to air TV. Watched SABC 3 (which is the best, and sadly still not really worth watching,) and as a media consumer I was forced to endure more ads than any educated being should ever be forced to, I think that the channels are working together so that when there are ads on one channel (four in total, yay:( ) then all the other stations play ads too, so you are left to choose whichever ad you despise the least, ja I hate the feminine hygiene product ad a little less than the MacDonald’s ad, lets watch that one instead, or I've already seen that ad 8 times tonight lets look for a new one. Sounds like a great night’s viewing pleasure.... It is at times like this that I see why I don’t watch TV anymore, its not because I am super cultured and would rather read a book or solve the world’s problems… No I want to play internet internet, I want to use Google to search for random shit, I want to play free games, listen to free music and watch free movies. In short the internet is the ultimate time waster. Productivity is no longer on my agenda, nor is my actual agenda. Maybe I’m just lazy in a different way, I think that is probably it, but do I feel bad? No of course not, I blame it on “insert world issue that you should care about, but actually don’t”

Enough ranting let me share some things with you that you can waste your bandwidth on.
Bit Torrent – The wave of the future for file distribution, Bit Torrent on Wikipedia, first you will need a cient, I use Azureus, it works well and has a pretty logo.. Ah pretty logo. And so that you don't get arrested you should only download legal torrets. For those of you are sick of having the default windows download thing screw up at about 80% of a download, here is Free Download Manager, and as the name suggests it is free (warning: when set on high mode it will kill your connection)

Waste your time here.
Wikipedia, an online encyclopedia
Snopes, check out urban myths, etc
Pixel Girl Presents, download pretty backgrounds.
Anime wallpapers, pretty self explanitory.
Newsgrounds, a pretty cool flash site
Internet Movie Data Base, check out facts about movies 'n stuff.
AnimeNfo, Anime encyclopedia.

Happy Friday

Good afternoon. Isn't it good to be alive? I wish I knew, I'm feeling a bit like a zombie at the moment, just waiting for my brain to wake up. tic toc tic toc tic toc........ Bing blip beeeeeeeeep, not quite there yet, but anyway. The New Norwegian Brown Bear association has formed a militant wing called the New Norwegian brown bear association militant wing or NNBBAMW, they are currently working on a more pronounceable acronym. It may take a while since they are not really using their grey matter, they are far more accustomed to arguing with their teeth and not their intellect. He who has the biggest sharpest teeth is right, end of argument, wanna take it any further and you will need either medical attention or a coroner. This is probably why you don't find people who will readily admit to disagreeing with bear politics. However For those of you wanting to support the cause I have attached their logo, which is a motif of their leader Browny with the hammer and sickle, I wonder if they want to start a socialist bear country. Hmm how do you have a socialist bear country. Fare working laws..... Hasn't anybody told those lazy bears that they need an economy of their own or at least they need to manufacture products which they can sell in ours before they start any political movements. Dam freaken bears don't know their place in society, But I'm not going to tell them.


Oh and happy friday. That means that, well it means that it is friday, woohoo. Time to have a beer and do other relaxing things (like not worrying about the shenanigans of some misguided wildlife.) Weekends have been celebrated by the working class since the dawn of time, first the beer gods blessed us with, well, beer. Then to afford beer we all had to partake in that ever so evil job of looking for a job. Making our corporate masters rather rich and making us crave beer even more. Riots, murder and incorrect marketing stats made the mojo masters think that maybe we needed some time off, unfortunately the 3day work 4 week play program was not accepted and we got the weak end of the bargain. But hell I'm happy with two days, hell I can't afford beer for 4 days straight.......... Just imagine all the people, stumbling everywhere, oh oo oh , image all the people, blah blub what the fa.. that bear's getting violent... who's browny. What the... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! Splat burble gurgle, dam bears...

Prooof.... refutable and absolutely deniable

Sorry for not posting for 3 days, if you missed me... you need a life. I got mixed reaction to my last post, to do with bears fighting ninjas etc. Some said that it was freaken cool heh.(they did fall silent when my medication kicked in), the rest seemed to think that it was completely improbable and a bit crazy. "Bears don't use guns, that's ridiculous!", "If they had opposable thumbs they would, so baroo baroo, ping ping, nut bunny." So I set out to prove them wrong. I searched and I searched for pictures of bears (fighting ninjas of course). What saddened me was the high number of dum f-ck americans that think its cool to go about killing our furry friends with high powered rifles, I show you I'll do something really bad to america, like put a monkey into office then let him just... Shit too late. Oh and the labours of my efforts paid off, or something. I found a photo by a famous unknown photographer, taken on the spctral plain at the last bin-just-la-zee championship. The photo depicts two highly trained athletes ready to put foot to ass, and claw to back o the head. Note the green plasma trail between the two, it is the clashing of their opposing chi fields.

Okay time for some updates

Some minor updates to the side panel. When I learn to edit the layout more, I will. Maybe some ninjas and sushi all fighting a bear with a tommy gun, sounds kick ass.

Valentines day: All the victims of the st Valentines day massacre are still dead. While mine turned out pretty good. I got Lazy a monkey, a cow, a card, a chocolate and a small red bag to put it all in. I got some smellies from Lazy, not sure I appreciate the implication that my hygiene is not on par, and I have in fact taken many mud baths since my last trip to Africa. We later had take away sushi, after that we drank too much.



Stunt man: Most of my bones have gotten their visas and have re-entered my body, I have also dried the tiles and given them a stern talking to.
Aliens & Sushi: Results are still inconclusive, but things are looking positive.
The meek: still suck ass.
Cockolate makers: have bought several small African countries with their profits from Valentines day, and they moved their headquarters to Chad (actual African country). Fortunately, due to bad investment portfolios (ie small African countries) they are now broke and stuck in Chad, pardon the pun it was unavoidable and can not be said any other way, that's the grammatical truth.

And finally probably the most important, or most questioned, update/correction. Drum roll please............ And here we finally have it the Robot Spider Thingy. I know many of you have had sleepless nights over this, and here it finally is...... Note the image you are about to see has been digitally altered to look like it was taken by the shit camera in my phone, then stared at for several hours and edited with the GIMP, to make it look like that. Sensitive viewers should not use fabric softeners or other irritants.



Please note that no actual gimps, or latex were harmed during the production of this image, we were however forced to radiate a creche in Kensington, but don't worry its probably better that way.

Bleesed are the meek - Intentional Spelling

I spend a lot of time on the net looking for worthless stuff to fill my hard drives with, as of late my HD's are getting pretty full, its gotten so bad that I have had to delete all of or at least most of my precious games Quake 4, FEAR and GTA SA, I will miss you rest in peace. However lacking SATA I am forced to either do a major upgrade of look to external options, I've been looking at Digital Planet, their prices seem to be the best I've seen, maybe I'll have to skip a few sushi alien hunts. Maybe I'll take up making my own, found an SA company that can supply me with the necessities, except the fish though Taste of Japan. Give me "fish, fish a fish fish fish, eating fish" by Mr Scruff, living inland has a few disadvantages, fresh sushi quality fish is difficult to find, there are no drum and base clubs or coffee shops for a matter of fact, well at least the chances of me been attacked by a shark or an angry seal are pretty small. Angry sea life and the lack of their flesh aside, let's talk crap. Poopy yah, we love poopy, here comes poopy whoopdee doo... Hmmmkay .....

Today I have been employed to do some corporate espionage, bum bum bummmm. gonna put on my ninja outfit, sneak into Corporation X's head office, kreep crawl, knock over pot plants till I get to the big cheese' office, use my lightning skill and dodo technique to jump on behind the md and give him a grade 7 quadruple wedgie, tada mission completed. Unfortunately that was all a fantasy, I have just been assigned the mission of researching security printing features such as blah blah blah , "Cockolate coffee anyone?" HUH?!?! WTF Mr Manager of Keeps me Employed Co. offers us some Cockolate coffee "Pardon, don't you mean Chocolate coffee?", "Um, ya, whatever. And don't say I don't look after yoos guys." Blessed are the meek and the Cockolate makers, they may inherit the earth, that's if they make through Sandton traffic to the earth issuing department in time of course. But never fear I is here, me be ninja o da night and all many times more bigged up den dem kings of kong me bes de one, bitch slap the jive right out of myself.... Oh I was saying that I beat the meek and the cockolate makers to the earth issuing department, sorry that means the earth belongs to me and Chuck Norris is my side kick, so all the facts you have been reading about Chuck Norris count double for me, eat the David Hasslehof, I am now the big boss type guy. Pity mr Manager does seem to know about this, maybe I should tell him.

Happy St Valentines day Massacre

Don't you just love valentine's day? Hm I seem to think it is probably one of the worst days of the year, not love wise but just a general absolutely crap day way. A few years ago some nobrigga decided to drive into the back of my car, causing me to spin into on coming traffic, not fun. Last year I just got back from Cape Town and got horribly sun burnt, sunstroke is not fun on valentine's evening. And this year I had car shit again, stuck on the side of the highway for about 20 minutes struggling to get the damn thing started. I need a new car, if you happen to have a spare one lying around, or are willing to buy me one, leave a comment and I'll get back to you.

Car problems aside, let's get onto valentine's day or at least those who have a worse one than mine have been so far. 'Twas the morning of 14 February 1929, when some good fellas were sitting done to breakfast when their friendly local hitman popped in for a visit and left 7 rather messy corpses in his wake, now that has got to be one of the worste valentine's days ever (by the way that re-enactment was based on the St Valentine's Day Massacre, doesn't massacre just roll off the tongue, say it with me massacre, mass-acre hmm now lets have some coffee and carry on). According to This Day in History.com in 1900 "British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange Free State with 20,000 troops", I wonder if they won, I hope they got Sun burn. Checking out snopes.com leaves one feeling pretty good about Valentine's day, seeing that I haven't been air raided, butchered or set on fire or at least not yet, let cross our thumbs.

For some interesting facts on Valentines day visit History Channel - Valentine's Day Page. And if you are in need of a car radar visit Valentine One. Send that extra special someone an anti valentines card BE MY ANTI-VALENTINE, by the way thats where I got the Happy Tuesday pic... Here's to Tuesday bottoms up and my the fat little cherub take aim and zap you in the ass.

Aliens eat sushi too

What is that in the sky... A bird a plane, superman maybe.... It just some of our neighbourly friends from another suburb of the milky way. Ba da boom, tasers set on fry yo freaken ass, shazam. Sorry I'm just really bored at work listeneing to some mix sets I got on www.blentwell.com, twisting my msg laiden brain to the realm of unconsious, well I hope I'm consious, they may not take well to that and force me to seek alternate funding for my ultimate plan of world domination.

Getting back to the meaning of life, I believe that Earth is frequented on a regular basis, by et so that they may partake in some of our finer delicacies ie sushi. I have come up with falible evidence that they are infact coming here for the combination of fish, seaweed rice and japanes mayonaise. On my most recent alien hunting expedition to Benkei's (I Love Sushi) I thought I'd have some hand rolls... MSG - mono sodium glutamate - flavour enhancer - and as the Incas list it "secret ingredient of the sun god". The high amounts of msg found in Japanese mayonaise, enter the blood steam, flow towards the brain, cross blood brain barrier and set off dopamine production, causing one to blink irratically and go yum yum. If you were wondering why would aliens come to earth to have sushi, well the answer is simple ...... they can, and they have all been mislead by the 80s' movie Earth Girls are Easy. Mission successful one girlfriend hooked on sushi, so that I may track down aliens and not seam to odd. Working so far will keep updated.

Mission update:- Illegal alien found at sushi bar, girlfriend states that obese americans are not illegal aliens, I retort well they should be, she replies don't be stupid, response = more Japanese mayo on nest handroll, msg :-> yum yum...

Stunt man of the day

Good morning still no luck uploading that acursed picture. Seems only fitting when the most rememorable experience I've had this week was pulling a stuntman on some wet tiles. It's amazing how hard things can be when you hit them at high speed. Said incident has left me with a sore rump and one hell of a screwed arm, making this use of my new powerball rather painful (By the way you can get your own at www.powerballs.com), this means that I am going to have to put off all that crushing of my enemies that I had planned for this weekend, it's a real pitty as I was really looking forward to it, this means that world peace etc blah dee blah little fuzzy bunnies etc will probably survive another week.

I have also decided to reinstall gta san andreas, which means I'm going to get more complaints about my swearing, oh what is the world coming to, maybe I can get gta dude to do the stunts ather than me......

Salami and good feelings

Well if you haven't noticed these Blog things have gotten rather popular, and not wanting be left out I thought I'd try starting one up.

And vola here it is simple enough and free, oh gone are the days of thinking people care what is said on forums and hello to the days of thinking etc etc etc blog etc....

By the by why don't you visit my girlfriends blog on http://spaces.msn.com/sistergabs its pretty, pink and well its new too. Viva le pink and pretty!


This blogg will be filled with all the useless, useful and what not that I deam worthy of spending my time typing.

Oh and check out the pic of my spider robot from ghost in the shell. I dig anime by the way, as it is a way to broaden my cultural horizons etc etc. and I like it when shit blows up!

Curses the pic does not want to load..... bum bum bummmmmm

3rd time lucky roll em high roll em low, where the rabbit hole stops we'll never know.