Happy Friday

Good afternoon. Isn't it good to be alive? I wish I knew, I'm feeling a bit like a zombie at the moment, just waiting for my brain to wake up. tic toc tic toc tic toc........ Bing blip beeeeeeeeep, not quite there yet, but anyway. The New Norwegian Brown Bear association has formed a militant wing called the New Norwegian brown bear association militant wing or NNBBAMW, they are currently working on a more pronounceable acronym. It may take a while since they are not really using their grey matter, they are far more accustomed to arguing with their teeth and not their intellect. He who has the biggest sharpest teeth is right, end of argument, wanna take it any further and you will need either medical attention or a coroner. This is probably why you don't find people who will readily admit to disagreeing with bear politics. However For those of you wanting to support the cause I have attached their logo, which is a motif of their leader Browny with the hammer and sickle, I wonder if they want to start a socialist bear country. Hmm how do you have a socialist bear country. Fare working laws..... Hasn't anybody told those lazy bears that they need an economy of their own or at least they need to manufacture products which they can sell in ours before they start any political movements. Dam freaken bears don't know their place in society, But I'm not going to tell them.


Oh and happy friday. That means that, well it means that it is friday, woohoo. Time to have a beer and do other relaxing things (like not worrying about the shenanigans of some misguided wildlife.) Weekends have been celebrated by the working class since the dawn of time, first the beer gods blessed us with, well, beer. Then to afford beer we all had to partake in that ever so evil job of looking for a job. Making our corporate masters rather rich and making us crave beer even more. Riots, murder and incorrect marketing stats made the mojo masters think that maybe we needed some time off, unfortunately the 3day work 4 week play program was not accepted and we got the weak end of the bargain. But hell I'm happy with two days, hell I can't afford beer for 4 days straight.......... Just imagine all the people, stumbling everywhere, oh oo oh , image all the people, blah blub what the fa.. that bear's getting violent... who's browny. What the... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! Splat burble gurgle, dam bears...

Prooof.... refutable and absolutely deniable

Sorry for not posting for 3 days, if you missed me... you need a life. I got mixed reaction to my last post, to do with bears fighting ninjas etc. Some said that it was freaken cool heh.(they did fall silent when my medication kicked in), the rest seemed to think that it was completely improbable and a bit crazy. "Bears don't use guns, that's ridiculous!", "If they had opposable thumbs they would, so baroo baroo, ping ping, nut bunny." So I set out to prove them wrong. I searched and I searched for pictures of bears (fighting ninjas of course). What saddened me was the high number of dum f-ck americans that think its cool to go about killing our furry friends with high powered rifles, I show you I'll do something really bad to america, like put a monkey into office then let him just... Shit too late. Oh and the labours of my efforts paid off, or something. I found a photo by a famous unknown photographer, taken on the spctral plain at the last bin-just-la-zee championship. The photo depicts two highly trained athletes ready to put foot to ass, and claw to back o the head. Note the green plasma trail between the two, it is the clashing of their opposing chi fields.

Okay time for some updates

Some minor updates to the side panel. When I learn to edit the layout more, I will. Maybe some ninjas and sushi all fighting a bear with a tommy gun, sounds kick ass.

Valentines day: All the victims of the st Valentines day massacre are still dead. While mine turned out pretty good. I got Lazy a monkey, a cow, a card, a chocolate and a small red bag to put it all in. I got some smellies from Lazy, not sure I appreciate the implication that my hygiene is not on par, and I have in fact taken many mud baths since my last trip to Africa. We later had take away sushi, after that we drank too much.



Stunt man: Most of my bones have gotten their visas and have re-entered my body, I have also dried the tiles and given them a stern talking to.
Aliens & Sushi: Results are still inconclusive, but things are looking positive.
The meek: still suck ass.
Cockolate makers: have bought several small African countries with their profits from Valentines day, and they moved their headquarters to Chad (actual African country). Fortunately, due to bad investment portfolios (ie small African countries) they are now broke and stuck in Chad, pardon the pun it was unavoidable and can not be said any other way, that's the grammatical truth.

And finally probably the most important, or most questioned, update/correction. Drum roll please............ And here we finally have it the Robot Spider Thingy. I know many of you have had sleepless nights over this, and here it finally is...... Note the image you are about to see has been digitally altered to look like it was taken by the shit camera in my phone, then stared at for several hours and edited with the GIMP, to make it look like that. Sensitive viewers should not use fabric softeners or other irritants.



Please note that no actual gimps, or latex were harmed during the production of this image, we were however forced to radiate a creche in Kensington, but don't worry its probably better that way.

Bleesed are the meek - Intentional Spelling

I spend a lot of time on the net looking for worthless stuff to fill my hard drives with, as of late my HD's are getting pretty full, its gotten so bad that I have had to delete all of or at least most of my precious games Quake 4, FEAR and GTA SA, I will miss you rest in peace. However lacking SATA I am forced to either do a major upgrade of look to external options, I've been looking at Digital Planet, their prices seem to be the best I've seen, maybe I'll have to skip a few sushi alien hunts. Maybe I'll take up making my own, found an SA company that can supply me with the necessities, except the fish though Taste of Japan. Give me "fish, fish a fish fish fish, eating fish" by Mr Scruff, living inland has a few disadvantages, fresh sushi quality fish is difficult to find, there are no drum and base clubs or coffee shops for a matter of fact, well at least the chances of me been attacked by a shark or an angry seal are pretty small. Angry sea life and the lack of their flesh aside, let's talk crap. Poopy yah, we love poopy, here comes poopy whoopdee doo... Hmmmkay .....

Today I have been employed to do some corporate espionage, bum bum bummmm. gonna put on my ninja outfit, sneak into Corporation X's head office, kreep crawl, knock over pot plants till I get to the big cheese' office, use my lightning skill and dodo technique to jump on behind the md and give him a grade 7 quadruple wedgie, tada mission completed. Unfortunately that was all a fantasy, I have just been assigned the mission of researching security printing features such as blah blah blah , "Cockolate coffee anyone?" HUH?!?! WTF Mr Manager of Keeps me Employed Co. offers us some Cockolate coffee "Pardon, don't you mean Chocolate coffee?", "Um, ya, whatever. And don't say I don't look after yoos guys." Blessed are the meek and the Cockolate makers, they may inherit the earth, that's if they make through Sandton traffic to the earth issuing department in time of course. But never fear I is here, me be ninja o da night and all many times more bigged up den dem kings of kong me bes de one, bitch slap the jive right out of myself.... Oh I was saying that I beat the meek and the cockolate makers to the earth issuing department, sorry that means the earth belongs to me and Chuck Norris is my side kick, so all the facts you have been reading about Chuck Norris count double for me, eat the David Hasslehof, I am now the big boss type guy. Pity mr Manager does seem to know about this, maybe I should tell him.

Happy St Valentines day Massacre

Don't you just love valentine's day? Hm I seem to think it is probably one of the worst days of the year, not love wise but just a general absolutely crap day way. A few years ago some nobrigga decided to drive into the back of my car, causing me to spin into on coming traffic, not fun. Last year I just got back from Cape Town and got horribly sun burnt, sunstroke is not fun on valentine's evening. And this year I had car shit again, stuck on the side of the highway for about 20 minutes struggling to get the damn thing started. I need a new car, if you happen to have a spare one lying around, or are willing to buy me one, leave a comment and I'll get back to you.

Car problems aside, let's get onto valentine's day or at least those who have a worse one than mine have been so far. 'Twas the morning of 14 February 1929, when some good fellas were sitting done to breakfast when their friendly local hitman popped in for a visit and left 7 rather messy corpses in his wake, now that has got to be one of the worste valentine's days ever (by the way that re-enactment was based on the St Valentine's Day Massacre, doesn't massacre just roll off the tongue, say it with me massacre, mass-acre hmm now lets have some coffee and carry on). According to This Day in History.com in 1900 "British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange Free State with 20,000 troops", I wonder if they won, I hope they got Sun burn. Checking out snopes.com leaves one feeling pretty good about Valentine's day, seeing that I haven't been air raided, butchered or set on fire or at least not yet, let cross our thumbs.

For some interesting facts on Valentines day visit History Channel - Valentine's Day Page. And if you are in need of a car radar visit Valentine One. Send that extra special someone an anti valentines card BE MY ANTI-VALENTINE, by the way thats where I got the Happy Tuesday pic... Here's to Tuesday bottoms up and my the fat little cherub take aim and zap you in the ass.

Aliens eat sushi too

What is that in the sky... A bird a plane, superman maybe.... It just some of our neighbourly friends from another suburb of the milky way. Ba da boom, tasers set on fry yo freaken ass, shazam. Sorry I'm just really bored at work listeneing to some mix sets I got on www.blentwell.com, twisting my msg laiden brain to the realm of unconsious, well I hope I'm consious, they may not take well to that and force me to seek alternate funding for my ultimate plan of world domination.

Getting back to the meaning of life, I believe that Earth is frequented on a regular basis, by et so that they may partake in some of our finer delicacies ie sushi. I have come up with falible evidence that they are infact coming here for the combination of fish, seaweed rice and japanes mayonaise. On my most recent alien hunting expedition to Benkei's (I Love Sushi) I thought I'd have some hand rolls... MSG - mono sodium glutamate - flavour enhancer - and as the Incas list it "secret ingredient of the sun god". The high amounts of msg found in Japanese mayonaise, enter the blood steam, flow towards the brain, cross blood brain barrier and set off dopamine production, causing one to blink irratically and go yum yum. If you were wondering why would aliens come to earth to have sushi, well the answer is simple ...... they can, and they have all been mislead by the 80s' movie Earth Girls are Easy. Mission successful one girlfriend hooked on sushi, so that I may track down aliens and not seam to odd. Working so far will keep updated.

Mission update:- Illegal alien found at sushi bar, girlfriend states that obese americans are not illegal aliens, I retort well they should be, she replies don't be stupid, response = more Japanese mayo on nest handroll, msg :-> yum yum...

Stunt man of the day

Good morning still no luck uploading that acursed picture. Seems only fitting when the most rememorable experience I've had this week was pulling a stuntman on some wet tiles. It's amazing how hard things can be when you hit them at high speed. Said incident has left me with a sore rump and one hell of a screwed arm, making this use of my new powerball rather painful (By the way you can get your own at www.powerballs.com), this means that I am going to have to put off all that crushing of my enemies that I had planned for this weekend, it's a real pitty as I was really looking forward to it, this means that world peace etc blah dee blah little fuzzy bunnies etc will probably survive another week.

I have also decided to reinstall gta san andreas, which means I'm going to get more complaints about my swearing, oh what is the world coming to, maybe I can get gta dude to do the stunts ather than me......

Salami and good feelings

Well if you haven't noticed these Blog things have gotten rather popular, and not wanting be left out I thought I'd try starting one up.

And vola here it is simple enough and free, oh gone are the days of thinking people care what is said on forums and hello to the days of thinking etc etc etc blog etc....

By the by why don't you visit my girlfriends blog on http://spaces.msn.com/sistergabs its pretty, pink and well its new too. Viva le pink and pretty!


This blogg will be filled with all the useless, useful and what not that I deam worthy of spending my time typing.

Oh and check out the pic of my spider robot from ghost in the shell. I dig anime by the way, as it is a way to broaden my cultural horizons etc etc. and I like it when shit blows up!

Curses the pic does not want to load..... bum bum bummmmmm

3rd time lucky roll em high roll em low, where the rabbit hole stops we'll never know.