"Hey What's up? How you been?", "Ja, Ja. I Know its been a while. Well I got side tracked. I was unemployed last weekend, it was freaken great. But then on monday I was employed again, hell things have been happening.", "Oh you don't say." I love talking to myself, damn, ah, okay I'm bored, oh you don't say.....
Okay I know I haven't been posting, but I've gotten rather bored of the internet, so I've taken to wathing odd or hard to find films. Well I'm currently trying to source some Godzilla films. ROAR. GODZILA, GODZILLA! I dig weirdos in funny lizard costumes. Oh and there are quite a few people who are willing to let you download and watch their short films for free. Like Little Dog Turpie at (http://www.dogturpie.com/), based on a failry weird fairy tale, and nice animation. Then you have Robot Bastard (http://www.robotbastard.com/), with a dude in a robot suite on a mission, I don't want to give the plot away, but I thought it was pretty cool. You can also look at (www.divx.com) I have found quite a few weird and woderful short films on the web, I even found a full length Star Trek knock off, didn't download it though. Keep and eye out for student films, some of them are very good.
Godzilla VS the small children down the road. Now I'd watch that
19/04/2006
'Tis the last Wednesday of the week.
Now that is certainly good news, by golly who wants another Wednesday. Personally I’ve had enough of them for 1 week. Damn, wake up early join the rat race eat a funny saamie, crave a cigarette, have a cigarette, wait till next craving. Sounds exciting, been like this since last Wednesday, or maybe since December, it’s all a haze, time seems to blend into itself, forming disjoined nouns, badly spelt cats and making me a bit more odd than usual, I think I’m a seven today, that’s pretty odd isn’t it. It’s been a while since I have posted, that is because I have been killing the internet here at work, die you measly “broadband” internet thingy, mwahaha! Damn I wanna live in a first world country, better internet, less corruption, less beggars etc etc. “Oh but it can’t be that bad, Why don’t you just get your pet lion to eat the beggars, and your elephant can stomp all those corrupt metros.” “WTF you moron, jhb is a city, the only place to find lions, tigers, bears, orangutans, elephants and other wild animals is at the zoo!”, “But on tv there are animals all over Africa.” “Famine starvation and civil war too, and on tv here there are some intelligent Americans, Just because you see it on tv, does not make it true, for fegs sake. You are a dum ass, go and play with that plug over there, oh and heres a bucket of water. Enjoy.” That’s an idea, maybe I’ll go to the zoo and set some animals free, or was that in a movie, filled with crazy Americans, who just happened to nearly wipe out humanity?
Apparently all of my American and beggar bashing has gotten me some good karma. I will be graduating on Friday, I will be celebrating on Friday and probably Saturday, and then I start my new job on Monday, and tomorrow is my last day here, things are definitely looking up, right, left and then right again. Now cross the street making sure that you keep an eye out for oncoming traffic. Poop! you jay walker. I’ve been told that when in Europe it is very easy to spot South Africans, because they always jay walk, that is cross the road at any location other than the zebra line thing or at the robot. I think it is probably safe to do it my way, that is adopt the position, ready, steady, NOW RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!! In some anime I’ve seen that in Japan they have traffic lights that play some weird docile tune, maybe it is a pied piper kind of tune, lulling the unsuspecting pedestrians into harms way, it seems to have the same effect on the drivers who very rarely take the bait and ride over our anime producing friends. I think they should get something similar here in South Africa, but they would have to change the tune, maybe replace it with the sounds of gun shots, a police siren, breaking glass, it would have to be area specific, like near the zoo you’d have a lions roar etc. This would definitely reduce the amount of time spent crossing the road, and thus reducing the time that taxis have to aim for said pedestrians. Another plus would be that pedestrians would get fitter and thus live healthier more productive lives. Sorry about all that bull, I’m just pissed off with bastards who run out in front of your car and expect you, (they expect me to what?) not hit them, now isn’t that a bit too much to ask, for craps sake, you jumped in front of me, now you taste some datsun fury.
Apparently all of my American and beggar bashing has gotten me some good karma. I will be graduating on Friday, I will be celebrating on Friday and probably Saturday, and then I start my new job on Monday, and tomorrow is my last day here, things are definitely looking up, right, left and then right again. Now cross the street making sure that you keep an eye out for oncoming traffic. Poop! you jay walker. I’ve been told that when in Europe it is very easy to spot South Africans, because they always jay walk, that is cross the road at any location other than the zebra line thing or at the robot. I think it is probably safe to do it my way, that is adopt the position, ready, steady, NOW RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!! In some anime I’ve seen that in Japan they have traffic lights that play some weird docile tune, maybe it is a pied piper kind of tune, lulling the unsuspecting pedestrians into harms way, it seems to have the same effect on the drivers who very rarely take the bait and ride over our anime producing friends. I think they should get something similar here in South Africa, but they would have to change the tune, maybe replace it with the sounds of gun shots, a police siren, breaking glass, it would have to be area specific, like near the zoo you’d have a lions roar etc. This would definitely reduce the amount of time spent crossing the road, and thus reducing the time that taxis have to aim for said pedestrians. Another plus would be that pedestrians would get fitter and thus live healthier more productive lives. Sorry about all that bull, I’m just pissed off with bastards who run out in front of your car and expect you, (they expect me to what?) not hit them, now isn’t that a bit too much to ask, for craps sake, you jumped in front of me, now you taste some datsun fury.
07/04/2006
Basic physics, for your inner hamster, inside of yourself.
On discussing nothing with lazydaisy, not your regular 6 pack kind of nothing important (talking crap) but the very real and tangible or at least the lack there of, of nothing, emptiness, the void that fills space when there is nothing there…. Hmmm. It seems that it is hard to imagine a complete void, one that does not even have any air. To eplain this we need to look at atoms, well they are very small so we can’t see them, when they are bundled together in varying densities we get the different phases of matter. These phases are, drum roll please, No that’s not the phase its just a phrase to introduce thing dimwit. The densest phase is a “solid”, where the atoms are so closely packed that they vibrate in extremely close proximity, so close in fact that they create a physical shape, which is more often than not rigid and hard (try walking into a wall, which is pretty solid and will probably hurt, a lot.) Common solids include ice, cheese, walls, tyre irons, nun-chucks, dog food pellets, kryptonite and fruit flavoured sweeties. The next phase is the liquid phase, this is where atoms are still quite close, but they do not form a rigid thing a ma bob. Due to their nature, liquids allow solids to move into and through them (a sword passes freely through beer), they mix with other liquids (rum and coke), and they can dissolve both gasses and solids (carbonated drinks have CO2 gas dissolved in it, and salt water has, well salt dissolved in it.) Common liquids include, beer, soy sauce, wine, tequila, punch, bloody mary, vodka, red bull, that funny blue shit in the bottle, beer and beer (apparently water is one too, I still need to investigate this though.) The last phase of matter is gas. That is when atoms are very sparse, so sparse that one does not realise that they are there, which comes back to the very small nature of the atoms. Gasses fill all the voids (empty spaces) between the other phases of matter (liquids and solids.) The room you are sitting in is filled with a combination of gasses we call air, which is also called the atmosphere, it is mainly made of nitrogen, and has oxygen O2 (used during metabolism – this is fairly important as it gives us the energy need to stay alive), and carbon dioxide CO2, remember the carbonated drinks (which is a by-product of metabolism – and is actually poisonous to us, its cousin carbon monoxide CO is much more dangerous – it comes from the rear of cars.) Common gasses are, chlorine gas, mustard gas, methane, air and fart gas (from your rear after you eat beens or cabbage).
What dictates the phase of any matter is its temperature. High temperature increases the movement between atoms, and hence there space between them. I.E. Ice (can be found in your neighbours freezer) melts into water when it is at room temperature (solid to liquid) put the water (sorry, I should have told you to put the ice in a glass, okay clean up the spilled water and get some more ice.) Note how the shape of the ice changes to fit the shape of the glass, now you can do the next step in a few ways. Basically you need to heat the water to about 100ºC. I tried setting it on fire but it seems to be a fire retardant – quite unlike petrol and other solvents, apart from water based ones of course. You can raise the waters temperature in the microwave or kettle, (be careful with the microwave as it will form hyper hot water, which is not moving, when you move it, the water will instantaneously change its phase from liquid to gas, this will spray fuggin hot water and steam onto you and those dum enough to stand near you while you play with the microwave. The kettle is safer; the bubbles given off during boiling are merely the bubbles of steam (waters gas state), which occur from the phase change (liquid to gas.)
Sorry I got a bit carried away, well explaining nothingness, like that in outer space. There is a finite amount of matter in the universe, that is if I keep on sending it through the SA post it will all eventually disappear (I think they send it to other dimensions.) And all of this finite matter needs to fill the infinite expanses of space. Doo dee doo dee doo…. Bum bum bummmmmm. Big revelation there are places without matter in them, these are called vacuums (no perfect vacuum exists, all those annoying little particles keep screwing things up.)
Whoa that was a long post, and I didn’t even get to explain that much. If this helped you please leave a comment, and I will further unravel the mysteries of the universe, or if you think this sucked leave a comment and then I’ll tell you why you suck. There is more on this subject, but I’m not gonna waste my time if you don’t want to read it. Thank you and good Friday afternoon.
What dictates the phase of any matter is its temperature. High temperature increases the movement between atoms, and hence there space between them. I.E. Ice (can be found in your neighbours freezer) melts into water when it is at room temperature (solid to liquid) put the water (sorry, I should have told you to put the ice in a glass, okay clean up the spilled water and get some more ice.) Note how the shape of the ice changes to fit the shape of the glass, now you can do the next step in a few ways. Basically you need to heat the water to about 100ºC. I tried setting it on fire but it seems to be a fire retardant – quite unlike petrol and other solvents, apart from water based ones of course. You can raise the waters temperature in the microwave or kettle, (be careful with the microwave as it will form hyper hot water, which is not moving, when you move it, the water will instantaneously change its phase from liquid to gas, this will spray fuggin hot water and steam onto you and those dum enough to stand near you while you play with the microwave. The kettle is safer; the bubbles given off during boiling are merely the bubbles of steam (waters gas state), which occur from the phase change (liquid to gas.)
Sorry I got a bit carried away, well explaining nothingness, like that in outer space. There is a finite amount of matter in the universe, that is if I keep on sending it through the SA post it will all eventually disappear (I think they send it to other dimensions.) And all of this finite matter needs to fill the infinite expanses of space. Doo dee doo dee doo…. Bum bum bummmmmm. Big revelation there are places without matter in them, these are called vacuums (no perfect vacuum exists, all those annoying little particles keep screwing things up.)
Whoa that was a long post, and I didn’t even get to explain that much. If this helped you please leave a comment, and I will further unravel the mysteries of the universe, or if you think this sucked leave a comment and then I’ll tell you why you suck. There is more on this subject, but I’m not gonna waste my time if you don’t want to read it. Thank you and good Friday afternoon.
04/04/2006
I Need a new car. ASAP!
While driving around this morning some idiot crazy lady hooted at me, or the car in front of me for not taking off quick enough. So what I did was roll down my window and gave psycho bitch the finger. Now this was more effort than it should have been, so to combat this in the future I am offering an open bid to all who read this to give me a new car, it has to have electric windows, so that I never have to use any physical effort to give fingers to worthy numskulls on our roads. “BEEP BEEP this, you stupid shit!” “May some rather nasty people come and repossess your car, may they punch you in the nose while they do it. YOU SUCK!” And on second thought the new car that you are going to give me should have some minor modification. For one the hooter should be set to such a frequency that it would either cause massive heart failure or severe brain hemorrhaging, which ever is more affective, seeing that most SA drivers are already severely mentally retarded, a good heart attack will stop them, and those who use their brains to control their motor functions will have said functions stopped… Permanently. My new vehicle will also need a reinforced body with bull bars to push incapacitated vehicles from my path.
From the drawing you can firstly notice that I do not design cars for a living, secondly you will notice the destructo hooter on the roof and the super strong bull bars on the front. Regular high grade steel would be suitable for the bull bar and reinforcing, the car would need at least a v8 engine to move all the extra weight, the destructo hooter can be aquired at most secret government military research labs. So I eagerly await me new car. and Thank you in advance.
From the drawing you can firstly notice that I do not design cars for a living, secondly you will notice the destructo hooter on the roof and the super strong bull bars on the front. Regular high grade steel would be suitable for the bull bar and reinforcing, the car would need at least a v8 engine to move all the extra weight, the destructo hooter can be aquired at most secret government military research labs. So I eagerly await me new car. and Thank you in advance.
03/04/2006
Welcome to Monday.
Ah yes another week has come and gone. No ninja attacks, no shark attacks and a decided lack of sushi. What an uneventful week. Lets hope this week is better. Well its Monday and you guessed it no ninja attack, shark attacks or sushi yet, gotten off to a slow start, maybe I’ll go piss the bears at the zoo off. “Say hello to my little friend you beeg steenkee bear bitch! Ya I called you a bitch you ooglee gross bear.” “UNGrhh?” “Who’s your daddy, I’ll bet he smells like poo, just like you, and your mama, your mama eats out of the toilet, you turd scoffer.” “Bear yawn.” “You gonna ignore me you stupid fuzzy fart bag? Huh, huh, HUH!” “Take that you lazy bum bum head!” Kick sound muffled by fur. “and that!” Punch sound muffled by fur. “GRRRR. Roar. SNRRRL” Biting sound muffled by well nothing. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You freaken bastard, that hurts didn’t you mother tell you it’s not nice to bite people, freaken hell that was a perfectly good pair of pants, I only got them last month, now there is a freaken hole where my leg used to be…. WHAT THE FUUUUU, Where’s my leg, give me back my leg you funky monkey… wooozzzzeee,” lots of blood funny feelings. “What you smiling at you brown fuzzy teeth fairy?” ……. “Wanna be friends?”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You freaken bastard, that hurts didn’t you mother tell you it’s not nice to bite people, freaken hell that was a perfectly good pair of pants, I only got them last month, now there is a freaken hole where my leg used to be…. WHAT THE FUUUUU, Where’s my leg, give me back my leg you funky monkey… wooozzzzeee,” lots of blood funny feelings. “What you smiling at you brown fuzzy teeth fairy?” ……. “Wanna be friends?”
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