I can prove that cheese is tasty. Here eat this.

Ah yes it is a gloomy Sunday morning and I‘ve been left alone with my thoughts again. Sneeeky little buggers always trying to convince me that the light in the fridge is not there for my amusement. Last night I did some very interesting research into how locals interact with tourists, next week I’ll try terrorists, first off you will need some locals, easy enough, then you need to locate a tourist, not so easy, or at least I couldn’t be bothered to look for one. We now have all the players locals, supplied from the surrounding areas, a tourist, me with a “German” accent and several beers. I really don’t know why I was so friendly, if I was a German tourist I’d be rude and obnoxious, why should my attitude change if my nationality did, so I did what all tourists do, and that is try to mingle with the locals while trying not to look like a terrorist, sorry I mean tourist. So all you need to do is go to everyone within ear shot and talk to them about what a good time you are having, in random German words learnt from tv, ein, gut pronounced goet, alveedezen (my german spelling is probably off), bier, achtun, shizer, shwine, and some other badly pronounced syllables. I’m not sure whether anyone noticed that I only got the accent after a few beers though, I think I even fooled the locals that I went there with. However I would recommend caution with trying to be a foreigner though, firstly don’t try being German in a German pub, because they will start talking to you in German, and trust me not even the best German accent will give you the ability to hold a conversation in German, I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work. Do not try acting like a German in an Afrikaans pub, not because they will understand you, but because it will be completely lost on them, and they probably won’t buy you any drinks. PS just talking English properly will make them think you are a tourist, I’ve been English, Australian, and South African in the same evening, with the same people, even after I spoke Afrikaans, and I was trying to prove that I was South African, I had to get my cousin, their friend, to back me up. But at the end of the day I don’t think you need to be German to enjoy a good German beer, with some nice German food, a personal favourite is schnitzel, potato salad, sour kraut, and if they have it ask for a little purple (yummy.) And the good thing is that all these delicacies can be got at most German pubs (remember not to use your German accent here, unless if you really are German though)