(Insert Title)

Ah good (insert time of day.) It has been quite a while, (insert time since last post) to be exact. I hope you are well, I am (insert current state of being), but have been a little (insert past tense negative) lately. FARK, FARk FEKKIDI fek fek. Bleep blip You Mother Farkin fark fark. Dam automated random shit generator, still trying to get me to insert my credit card. That’s it I’m writing all my own random shit from now on. Oh I mean I’ll ramble on a bit randomly, or something. Today (insert date in past) Smash, smash fark fark. Roar, dammit. Okay I am either being very prodigious, or extremely lazy. This blog entry type thing (what you are reading now) has bee prepared at some previous date, one long before the post by date, some may say long before the dinosaurs, some may say before Riaan Cruywagen. But how are we to know, after all time is only relative. To prove this, you will need to go to any government department, preferably the licensing department, now remember that you are there for a very important reason, such as having your license renewed or to shoot someone. Not only will the hour you are there feel like an hour but much more, you may perceive the man next to you age, ever so slightly at first but then you will notice that he now has a beard, then he starts to grey, his nurse comes every now and then to change his colostomy bag, you notice his drip is getting empty, you see his son come to take over their proud place in line, you wonder if you are aging too, you are, you start to lose touch with reality, becoming senile even. Why oh why did you have to go and stand in that life draining queue. Oh the end is nigh. Another test, for those who don’t want to die in the process is to go to a fairly large public event, like a concert or a rugby/cricket/popular national sport game. Find a nice seat, have something to eat, maybe a beer or two and a block or two of brooklax. Now the time it takes for the brooklax to kick in and the time it takes you to find relief. Now that by definition is eternity.

Sorry about the time thingy, it’s just that this is, was, er will be a prepared blog entry. I typedy, typedy, some stuff on me keyboard into the words n’ stuff program, then I save it for later. Kind of like preparing a biochemical warfare weapon thing. I doubt that even the best biochemical scientist dudes could have made their allotted nasties in terror 101. They would have needed to put in many hours of home work, mixing just the right amounts of anthrax with Viagra etc. and on the good side at least you don’t get very many second rate biochemical terrorists, due to the high levels of self study required, they seem to kind of sort them selves out(and their family pets, families, neighbours pets, neighbours etc. etc.)

“I’m sorry oh great large, powerful and very muscular in that t-shirt random shit generator. You are the most wonderfulest random shit generator in the entire fluff. Oh take me into your flock and show me your wonder. And I will give you all my worldly possessions; I have no need for them for I know that when I am with you I need not. What is that? Oh of course I will bring you all the beer that this land has to offer. .. Yes and a cheese burger, with extra chips. …. And a Game boy? Oh Sorry one of those cool new Game Boy DS’ with all the cool little extras, and all the games for it that this ;land has to offer…. And a Porsche designed kitchen set including the nifty toaster and kettle. Oh my random shit generator, this is… What oh you are not done, but this is a rather long list, and I don’t think I even know what a spaloonkedy wonka is….. This is too much, where oh where shall I find these things?” And then I shot him, the most annoying disciple I have ever had. Remember that even though I may take pity upon you today, because you praised my random shit, and stuff, no one likes a suck up, especially not one that doesn’t know what a spaloonkedy wonka is anyway. Oh and next time you see me, give me a beer I’ve deserved it.